Choices

We make a choice and then later on think, wow, maybe I should have gone with the other way, maybe I’d have been happier with that choice. People who win lotteries and people who are disabled both get to the same level of contentment with life. Neither group is happier than the other after the initial euphoria of winning and the after the initial despair of becoming disabled. We adapt to how our lives are and then we find happiness in the little meaningful things in our daily lives the same way as a lottery winner would or the person in a wheelchair would.

I have a friend from work who is not very happy with her life. She told me last night before I left, that she just wants to be happy like she is when she gets back from a vacation. That great feeling of bliss goes away and she hates that. She believes that we are capable of being happy like that all the time; happy people are always happy. So she tells me.

I told her I don't think that's possible, to have that amount of happiness constantly. It always goes away. Then you have to find it agian. That's why people go to church on Sunday/Saturday; to be reminded of the divinity within us. The bliss fades, but the trick is to find it again and again. A nice thing about Buddhism is to comprehend the first tenant: "life is suffering". She slammed her hand on the desk and said, "I'm not Buddhist and I want to be happy." She was quite angry with me. I should learn that depression isn't possible to lift for others. I will always continue to try, though.

I said, the hardest part of being alive is realizing not every day will be good and not everyday will be bad. The bad things end, as do the good things. But being aware of that things will change (they will always change) makes us able to get through the hard parts.

That conversation brought me to the idea that happiness is dependant on our expectations of what we want from life. Make a choice on what you expect to be getting from your life and then work through your life to get there. Then don't look back on the path not taken.

I think I’m getting the hang of it, 35 years later.