Learned an important lesson from a friend today. Dwelling on what could have been is somewhat counterproductive for living in the present, to me that truly is great skill to have. Several Eastern Philosphies are built on that premise. So how does one live in the present, I wondered. He said, "in crisis you have to deal with the present in real terms with an eye towards future consequences."
hmmm. Maybe my problem is I haven't had a real crisis? Can I still learn to be here now? I find i'd prefer to read, watch a movie, listen to music, play a game, play with Leia. But do stuff around the house? Never.
Despite everyone's desires otherwise, the laundry still needs doing, dishes done, toilets cleaned, etc. practical stuff, day to day mess needs to be cleaned. Another friend told me she was living with a man who refused to pitch in with the household duties. She said, "that's just part of being a grown up, it sucks but you gotta do it." And she didn't like that about him. I don't like that part about being a grown up either. I don't like being the only one who does the chores in my house. Being the one to take care of everyone else, even the other able bodied adult isn't my idea of a good life. And it makes me a very unhappy grown up who doesn't want to be one.
Today my friend taught me about what being a grown up was:
Being a happy grown up means not completely leaving your childhood behind. And still being able to watch a hummingbird with wonder and awe. Then you go inside later to fold the laundry, wash the dishes and clean the toilets.
And it may not always get done on time, but who's counting?
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